It isn’t really foggy and rainy all the time here. We tell yall that to keep the riff raff out – our state is real pretty and we wanna keep it that way. When it does rain, it’s not like the rain you think….rarely does it pour down from the heavens…more like a global plant mister from above. You don’t need an umbrella, usually a nice waterproof jacket is good year round.
We try not to use the umbrella of the spectrum around here either. While I’ve been told I baby the boy a little much, I try my best to treat him as if there was no autism. Every day I push the envelope a little bit more – stretching him developmentally. I set my expectations on where he is at that moment, not on yesterday or where I think he should be by now. Some days we make progress, some days we don’t.
Since ABA was mentioned to me ages ago, I’ve been researching it. I’ve come across more than a couple blogs written by adults on the spectrum who are (my words here) trying to “recover” from ABA. Each person is different and responds differently in any given situation. I don’t really want my son to have ABA Therapy. Were he a toddler, just at the beginning of development and newly diagnosed, then yes…because that’s how toddlers learn anyway, isn’t it? But a “tween-er”? A 10 year old boy? Yeah….we’re learning how to put on anti-perspirant and sproutin’ the stray whisker – we don’t have time for flash cards and bribery. Again, I’m not saying ABA is BAD….not saying it’s GOOD either…just saying I don’t think it’s right for us, thank you, but please go ahead if you choose.
Today the boy learned a hard lesson, and I couldn’t get there in time to stop it from happening. I was making a grilled cheese sandwich for him, but he was very very impatient. I turned around to the sink and he snuck in behind me, and saw his beautiful grilled cheese sandwich in the pan – and tried to pick it up – and shrieked like the girls in the horror films…. “RED RED RED RED RED MOMMAAAAAA”. I pulled his hand into the cold water running in the sink and kept it there while I explained what had happened and why, and how he probably didn’t want to try that again ever and maybe he’ll listen to Mom from now on. He looked at me and kinda nodded before smirking and rolling his eyes.
Don’t worry, there isn’t even a mark or a blister – but he was feeling it for a few hours. He’ll remember it now. We’ve made the connection. Sometimes making those connections is painful. As much as I’d love to put him in a bubble and never let him down, I have to let him learn some things his own way. No amount of bribery would have stopped him today.
Have you taken a 5 minute mini-vacay lately? set the timer….and float away.
Be good to yourself – Steve Perry