Survivor guilt maybe?

Okay – I spoke up – I asked for help.

But how do I deal with the guilt now….the guilt that says I’m giving up on him.  The guilt that says I didn’t try hard enough.  The guilt that comes from comparing myself to other moms.  The fear that after I get care in place and I have all this free time, will I let myself enjoy it or will I spend it beating myself up for “sloughing” off my parental responsibilities.

I know all the counter arguments for every point above.  That I’ve done a great job, but no one is expected to 24/7 alone forever.  He’s getting older and needs his own life.  I deserve my own life.

Knowing the rational side has nothing to do with not feeling guilty.

I will find a therapist once I get things squared away.  Not one of these new age “counselling centers”  …someone who understands caregivers.

 

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Pearl Manhattan

Life interrupted - this space is changing - stay tuned

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