Over-invested in the Outcome

Maybe I owe you all an apology – I’ve had unfair expectations of you.  While I got a crash course in a lot through life, and I have a lot of experiences that I’ve survived, most of you haven’t.   I lack empathy and understanding a lot of the time – but not because I don’t care – I care very much!  I just don’t realize how hard I’ve fought all along, it’s become second nature, and I’ve had to bury a lot of things or process on the fly.  I’m in battle mode.

I apologize for expecting everyone to be where I am in this process.  You aren’t here yet.  You may not get here.  And I have to be okay with that.  I had an outcome in mind – Where I wanted my son to be – and it only became more and more frustrated when I was doing so much – everything the experts said – and I wasn’t getting the Outcome they promised.

The realization came in advice I gave on a parenting forum –

At the end of the day, if my children are clothed, fed, and comfortable, then I have fulfilled my obligations as parent.  Anything over that is bonus.

This led me to realize that I have given my children a far better childhood than I ever saw.  I win.  I don’t need to seek validation for anything anymore.  I can also stop being so defensive – and put down the baseball bat.  You’re not judging me, you just don’t understand – because you’ve never had this experience.

So – no more outcomes.  This is a good thing.

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Pearl Manhattan

Life interrupted - this space is changing - stay tuned

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