My child is autism

Stigma

Stereotypes

If I told a story of one of my son’s meltdowns, without any preface or explanation of autism, you would judge my parenting.  You would have a thought or a comment of “well, if you had just done your job as a parent, he wouldn’t be this way”

The stories run rampant on Facebook and other online sites – about the bratty kid and the asshole who put him in his place because he felt the child was just in need of parenting.

The asshole is the problem.

The minute he decided he had parental rights over this child.

He’s not the only problem.

My child is not a child in need of better parenting – and until everyone stops treating us like he is, maybe we can start undoing the damage and neglect from the schools and all the other “helpful agencies” who simply believe I’m incompetent.

If my son needed hearing aids or leg braces, would you expect me to have fixed his hearing or bones?  If my son needed glasses, would that be due to poor parenting?  So his speech doesn’t work right – that’s my fault?

People want to talk to me so I can make them feel better about their lives.  The endless drama with partners and parents and family members.  People don’t like to listen because I don’t have happy things to talk about.  I have no parents.  I have no partner or spouse.  My child’s father is deceased and his family disowned me.  The only people in my life are the people who show up to tell me how badly I’ve failed as a parent.  I actually had one person accuse me of only talking about myself and never listening to them and no one wants to hear the negative stuff about my life.  So I just stop talking.

 

 

Published by

Pearl Manhattan

Life interrupted - this space is changing - stay tuned

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