Last month sometime, a dear friend sent me a “Save the date” for her halloween party. I had thought I had a sitter for CJ lined up, but miscommunication happens, and Thursday I found out that I had no sitter for CJ for the night of the party. I cried.
I had a big pity party – I may have even whined “Cinderella never gets to to go to the ball!” and I was 14 all over again – having to stay home with my brothers while my parents went out. Oh, this was so not fair!
I hastily messaged the hostess of the party, and explained that I couldn’t go, but I hoped she had a nice party and please continue to invite me. Then I cried some more. Then I messaged the hostess again….
“What I meant to say was – Would it be okay if I brought CJ along to the party?”
No over explaining or excuses or whining or giving up. I got brave. I met a person at one of the SCA wars we attended last summer who had a special needs son – and she said, “I always just brought him along everywhere – adapted the wheelchair for rolling through fields and campgrounds – I never asked permission or made excuses. And everyone just accepted it – he was family. ”
In the past, CJ hasn’t enjoyed camping because neither of us were in a “good place” mentally or emotionally. The last few weeks, he’s shown me how much of a young man he really is. He’s here and he’s serious and he’s done being treated like he’s broken or slow. He has zero patience with people who talk down to him. I figured the worst thing that could happen at the party was he would need his DS AND his iPad AND my phone and my full attention – but he’s pretty good company.
The hostess said it would be fine and offered a spare bedroom with a TV that CJ could hang out in if he didn’t want to be with the adults. I relayed all this to CJ, and he danced around the room yelling “Fiesta!!!!”
CJ was so well behaved – I will continue to say this – I know more than a few “normal” adults who don’t behave as well as CJ in public. He had a GREAT time at the party – and everyone enjoyed his company. He stayed up quite late – and when we got home, he walked straight to his bed and fell asleep instantly.
So we will try more outings….slowly – last night was a lot of work for me – and it takes a while to prepare and such….so don’t expect us at the meetings next week – but in time – I think maybe the summer – we could start getting out of the house more.