I set myself up for it. It started a couple months ago when I would fall asleep watching YouTube, to wake up hours later in the middle of something weird. Who knows what I was plugging into my brain in my fitful sleep. It must have been something good, because I started to notice a change.
I have been visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future and all their cousins of possibility and their messages were not lost. And when I woke up early this morning, I finally woke up from the nightmare to find the white christmas I’ve been asking for since I was old enough to know what one was.
Our family christmas this year was the best christmas I’ve ever had. Although I wasn’t able to “make christmas” the way I thought I wanted it, Christmas happened around me and to me, in spite of me. It looked like a scene out of a catalogue.
2017 was the year of letting go. I’m reminded of the scene in Finding Nemo where they are in the whale, and Dory has to convince Marlin to let go. And Now, I’m dancing around celebrating. I’m alive.