This has been the year of letting go.
Early in January, a friend of my late husband contacted me. He took me to lunch and gave me a birthday card. It was a great time – and a few email exchanges later, I got a message that said he didn’t want to interact with me anymore – that it brought up too much history for him. I guess my face brought back all the memories of pain with his X wife.
Since then, just about every bit of unfinished business has showed up – like it was my responsibility to make it right for THEM – in that they expected I would still have a door open in my heart for them.
Tonight, I removed a preditor from jr high from my life. In the past year, I’ve removed so many people from my life. Anyone who took without giving – anyone who had expectations of me – anyone who didn’t serve me in some way.
The problem is, no one is showing up to fill those places.
And I’ve burned every bridge from my past.
Honestly, I haven’t met many people at all I even want to be around. Everyone has so many expectations and they do not like it when people’s lives are different from theirs.
I am a good person – a good woman – a damn fine partner – a minx in bed and the star of the sunday church choir.
Last time I’m saying this…..the charity is closed. I really could not care to hear from anyone else from my past. Not one of them has ever been kind to me. They only defiled me and abandoned me.