Gratitude

I think I’ve eaten and slept more in the last week than I have in my entire life – and I’ve still met every responsibility and expectation easily.  Compassion – that is what changed.  I’ve said several times I had to shut off all the external noise and really take some time for me and it’s paid off.  I was in survival mode the day I came into this world, and never felt I had to the chance to get a secure footing.  The more I let go of CJ, the more independant he becomes, and the more time I have for myself.  I wasn’t kidding when I said all I needed was a nap and a sandwich.  My cup was empty.  It’s not full yet, but it’s getting there.

Knots I’ve had in my shoulders for as long as I can remember have disappeared.  Joints that were stiff and frozen are moving easily now.  I can breathe better than I ever could.  But best of all, my voice is clearer and easier and lighter again.  I’m not waking up in a panic attack and I’m sleeping much better.  I feel better. I can think clearly.  I feel balanced.

I see the world differently now – more realistically than I ever have.  I don’t feel courageous but I know I have courage.  I don’t feel strong, but I know I have strength.  The security I’ve yearned for all my life is in my control.  I just needed to stop running.

I am enough.

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Pearl Manhattan

Life interrupted - this space is changing - stay tuned

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