non-traditional isn’t always bad

I don’t talk about my boyfriend much, more out of respect for his privacy than anything.   We’ve been together 8 years, and we’ve been through a lot.  Most people who meet us assume we’re married, and we don’t correct them – it’s easier to just nod and smile than try to explain.

It’s expected when you meet your soulmate that you merge with them in all aspects of your life – financially, spiritually, physically, emotionally – the whole thing.  You may maintain a small part of your individuality, but in my twice-married opinion, you really become half of someone new with your partner.  Both sides compromise and give up for the “greater good”.  There’s nothing wrong with that if that is a comfortable place for you.

My boyfriend told me when we first started out that I didn’t need someone to take care of me.  I agreed.  After two marriages of 13 years each, I didn’t care to share a bathroom or a bed with another adult – for any reason.  So he lives 3 houses one way off the main street and I live 6 houses the other way.  He manages his bills and his business and I manage mine.  When we come together, we’re happy and loving to each other, because there’s no stress between us.  There’s no finances or space or time to fight over.  There’s no compromise because we both get our own way.  At the start of the year, we plan out our events for the year.  This year it’s Medieval Reenactment camping.  Those are our weekends  – both of us clear everything else out of the way – and we just relax together.

He and CJ get along very well and they enjoy spending time together.  My boyfriend doesn’t have any children – by choice, and I respect that.  Parenting isn’t his thing, and that’s okay,  so he doesn’t interfere in my parenting.  CJ is starting to join in on more of our outings and grocery shopping.

My boyfriend respects me and trusts me to manage my life and my children.  It’s taken me a while to learn how to relax.  Everything I know about being a grown-up, I learned from my boyfriend.  There’s a deep peace that comes with the title “forever girlfriend”.  The other night on the phone, he mentioned a worry all of us have..too much month at the end of the money … I told him I wasn’t interested in his money – I just wanted his soul.  Our love is beautiful and eternal and unconditional.  I couldn’t be happier in my life.

 

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Pearl Manhattan

Life interrupted - this space is changing - stay tuned

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